JAMES PATRICK O'SHEA

March 17, 1940 - April 13, 2004

To My Beloved Jimmy,

Our journey began 33 years ago, but it was this last year that forever changed our lives.

On April 2, 2003, you were diagnosed with esophageal cancer.

The statistics given at Moffitt Hospital were devastating to us. However, our radiation oncologist told us he was going for the cure. That gave us hope and courage to stay the course.

I made a promise that I would be with you every day, and for that year we were inseparable. Our enthusiasm and passion to get well was boundless. And our love for each other was unconditional.

It was perhaps the first time that I truly understood and relied upon your tremendous sense of humor and impeccable timing.

You endured a year of endless testing and treatment and often recounted the number of trips to Moffitt and the number of needle sticks per day. To those who cared for you, you never lost your patience or charm.

During our last week, while in the care of hospice, you said, "We are not giving up. We are resting to see which way we go. The rest can't hurt and may improve the situation."

Then as the days progressed you wrote, "A year is too much. I need some relief. You are brave. I will watch out for you like always. I have to go Tell all how much I love them."

We all prayed for a miracle and indeed it happened.

You died peacefully at home, during the holiest days of Easter.

The moments before your passing you relaxed your neck and laid your head back so gently on your pillow and you lightly pulled my right hand, which I had placed in your right hand over to your heart. Although you had been unresponsive for 24 hours, as you drew your last breath, you knew Patti and I were with you.

April 13 was your mom's birthday, so as not to miss any of the celebrations you left really early at 2 AM.

The cyst on your back, which was discovered in early December and had led to an additional diagnosis of bone metastasis, was healed.

And amazingly you never suffered the pain of bone cancer.

God did listen to all our prayers and answered them the best way possible.

I asked you one question and requested one favor.

Who was going to meet you? Initially you said, "It is too early to determine this." Later you told me, for sure it would be your mom.

I wanted you to send me messages. You said, "give me time to learn the ropes." You learned pretty quickly because the next day they began.

There are so many to thank.

My parents & sisters, Patti, Josie & Karen, you shared our tears of joy and sorrow each step of the way. Mom, you sent cards every week for over a year. Patti, you watched our dogs each time Jim was hospitalized and stayed with me those last days, so I could get some rest.

James, Douglas, Keith & Mark, Jim's children and Tom his only brother, called, visited and told him you loved him a hundred times over. He never tired of listening to this and often would cry later, saying he never knew how much he was loved.

Susan, our nurse practitioner, you cared for Jim with exquisite love and kindness, giving expert medical care and never tiring in our relentless effort to make him well.

Patricia, Office Manager at our clinic, you understood the urgency of my
numerous phone calls and requests. You were always patient and good natured and we loved you for that.

To all our friends, neighbors, and fellow cancer survivors: you were such an inspiration and an important part of our lifeline. You called, sent cards, well wishes, prayers and food. On his last night with us, we sat together and cried and prayed with him, again giving him permission to go forward and telling him how much we loved him.

Jimmy, you are my best friend and as you promised, you are helping me to have the most intense feeling of peace. I am no longer afraid. I will live my life realizing all is well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before — only better, infinitely happier and forever — we will all be one together with Christ.

I know you are waiting for me just on the other side of the fence.

I love you.

Margaret

---

To My Jimmy,

We are all together here today by virtue of a common thread.
That thread is Jim O'Shea.
To one he was a spouse, a soul mate.
To others, he was a father, a brother, a friend.
To me, he was many of those.

They say the measure of man's life is how he influences those with whom he comes in contact.

It is an honor to be able to tell you how Jim......Jimmy influenced my life, from the time I was a young girl, to his last earthly day, when he went on to better things, a better life.

When I was young and wanting to live in New York, Jimmy reached out with an open heart and aided my in my quest.

He showed an eagerness to help in whatever way he could; whether it was finding my first job, learning to "survive" in the Big City, or just to offer a calming, reassuring hand when things didn't go my way.

He showed compassion when you were down, and let you know that he would always be there if you needed him.

Undoubtedly, things didn't always go Jimmy's way either, but he showed affection for me and his wisdom by teaching me to deal with life's setbacks with character, kindness, and a healthy dose of humor.

Jimmy was generous in many ways, he offered encouragement and advice; never preaching but instead always making one feel as if they had arrived at a realization all on their own.

He took delight in the accomplishments of others, and derived satisfaction from knowing that perhaps, in some manner he had assisted them.

Jimmy was generous in giving of himself and of what he had.

I always had to be careful of saying I liked something, because next thing you know, Jimmy would offer to give it to me, except for his Big Screen TV......hmmm.

I've always felt that Jimmy was a big fan of mine, because that is what he conveyed to me in his words and his actions. That you could accomplish what you set out for, that you could learn new things, expand your horizons and that you could have a good time doing it.

I know I've always been a Big fan of Jimmy, for his attitude on life, his optimism, and his willingness to share those attributes with me.

Though he never understood that not everyone wanted to spend ALL DAY on a boat to catch that Big Fish, his optimism was contagious.  It almost DID make you want to spend ALL DAY on that darn boat.

When Jimmy learned he had cancer, it was the saddest day of my life, but Jimmy was eternally optimistic and was determined to beat it.

The last year of Jimmy's earthly existence was one of great swings, moments of tremendous fear and sorrow, to moments of hope, faith, trust, loyalty and LOVE.

Jimmy was always willing to stand with you, as he did for so many years with Margaret, his wife whom he loved so dearly.

I know that Jimmy's greatest fear and disappointment was that he would not "physically" be present at Margaret's side to support her, to comfort her. Instead he is now doing it spiritually.

Jimmy came to realize that having trust in hope and in faith would not only provide for Margaret, but for himself as well.

Jimmy allowed me to share in the most intimate and personal moments of his life, the time when one is the most vulnerable; I will be eternally grateful to him for that.

During those times, he taught me courage, grace, dignity and to trust that no matter what happens or when our time comes we will never loose our connection.

Our Love is woven like a tapestry, Jimmy is a thread in that tapestry as are we all.

It will only grow larger and warmer as we all continue on with the journey that is life.

Love, Patti (Jim's sister-in-law)

---

Memories of Jim O'Shea

We first saw Jim on a New Year's Eve. Margaret had called and told us to be sure to watch a certain New York TV station, that she would be on it with a friend. Sure enough, the camera picked up on Margaret and her friend, who turned out to be Jim O'Shea.

While visiting Margaret sometime later, we were introduced to the "Likable Irishman", who was to become a good friend over the many years that we came to know him.

One of Jim's passions was fishing. For many years he would spend his weekends at Sheepshead Bay. He got to know many of the boat captains as well as the best part of the boat decks to reserve for his fishing spot.

On occasion, I would meet him there and we would have a good time fishing for flounder and blue fish.

Jim also had a passion for boats. He finally bought one, a good seaworthy boat and took lessons so he would know how to handle it. We had happy times fishing in the waters of Jamaica Bay.

Another passion of Jim's was his desire to have a log cabin in the mountains of eastern Pennsylvania. He found an area that he and Margaret liked, bought some property and had the log cabin built. We spent many enjoyable weekends with Jim and Margaret at their cabin in the woods and nearby lake. Jim was always a great sport about putting worms on Loretta's hook.

When he and Margaret went house hunting again, we were happy to hear them say that they could not find anything interesting in Arizona; that would have been such a long ways away. As it turned out, their choice of a home in Florida was the right one.

For when Jim became ill, Patti was there to give support and a helping hand when it was sorely needed.

And so we will add one final good-bye. May you rest in peace. We love you and we will miss you.

Paul & Loretta Mikkelsen (Margaret's parents)

Photo: Jim and Margaret O'Shea provided by Mary Ann O'Shea, Jim's sister-in-law.